The Perfect Weave

God’s plan for our lives is so intricately woven into our destiny, and His trademark is written all over it, even if we might not see it right away. But every time we come to that realization, we are comforted and strengthened in our walk with Him, recognizing His design in our purpose on this earth. Today was one of those mornings that led me to one of those experiences of gratitude and a heart of submission to the Grand Creator.

My husband, C’s family carries a rich heritage; his great-grandfather was one of the first few pastors in Vietnam, and his missionary work helped carry the gospel to many villages in the early 20th century. He met my C’s grandfather when he was on a missionary excursion to North Vietnam, and their love and passion to serve God quickly brought the two together. Grandfather followed great-grandfather back to the south with him, where he was mentored, and they spent time doing ministry and worshipping together. Grandfather fell in love with great-grandfather’s daughter, and they got married, and the rest is history.

That’s a great story in its own, but for those of you who actually know me, you might have already discovered the uncanny similarities between that story, and the story of C and me. C was my father’s friend first, before he was mine. They met when my father preached at his bible college, and they became strong friends. My father loves C as a son just as C loves and respects my father, and calls him a mentor. C and I met when he visited my family on a mission trip, and that’s how we became friends. Five years down the road, we got married and we’re not celebrating our first anniversary (yay!).

Perhaps to you, that’s just a crazy coincidence, but to us, it’s a mark of God’s blessing over our families, bringing us together for His glory. It’s a strong reminder that our lives are not for ourselves, nor is it for our own pleasure and satisfaction, but that He has brought us together in order that we might know Him and follow Him and live out the rich inheritance He has given to us, and be fully assured that He holds our world in our hands. It is also the strongest assurance that our marriage is ordained by God, that we may cling on to Him and to each other till the day He takes us home to be with Him.

first dawn

I’ve been wanting an outlet to blog again but I’ll have to admit it took volunteering to push me out of my slumber to really document what I’ve been learning since moving here.

Based on my experience since moving to the States, a lot of people in Asia seem to believe that life in the US is somehow more exciting or glamorous than where they’re at. There’s so much more shopping options, there’s more housing opportunities, there’s more jobs, there’s more good-looking people, there’s more fun night-life, there’s more fun food, etc etc basically the american dream is conjured up. It is true that in some parts of the US life is undeniably awesome, especially here in California. There are people so rich, they crash Ferraris as a hobby. There are people so rich that they send their children to high schools where one school year costs more than a college degree.

But the OC life is far from the life of a lot of people, and that lifestyle is not something I’m interested in glamorizing. Actually, on the contrary, I’ve met so many more people in need than I’ve ever had before since moving here. For the middle class at least, many people spend their lives working day in and day out just to make ends meet. And then there are many others whose lives are lacking and their needs not even documented. I hope to have a place to write down some of the things I learn, that I may never be complacent and become ungrateful for what I have, beyond that, that I may never become so jaded as to ever look down on others who are less fortunate. One day, I hope that my voice and words will make a difference to the lives of those who need a huge difference in their lives.

I’m not in any way trying to attack the government, because in fact I am really amazed at how much help the government gives the poor here; the amount of help and the aid given to the needy here far exceeds both Singapore and Malaysia, where I’ve lived. I’ll never forget what someone told me once, “Don’t worry, no one here will grow hungry or lack education.” I’m overwhelmed by the number of non-profits who give relentlessly to those in need, and by number of plans and policies in terms of housing, healthcare, education, etc. But I cannot deny that even the best of these are insufficient sometimes because of structural barriers, or because of lack of education, family history and problems, lack of support, discrimination or just because it’s still tough. At the end of the day, it’s still difficult for the disadvantaged to fight against those who are advantaged.

Nevertheless, there are many who fight against hope. There are many determined to overcome the barriers, and there are many who say no to despair. It is not that they are unaware of what’s going on. I was surprised to hear many young immigrants voice their awareness of being discriminated against because of where they come from. Yet I was even more surprised, but proud, that they would want to bridge the gap. That they would want to tell people about their lives so that they would understand.

Today, I learnt that we should be so grateful that we grew up with technology readily available, or within most young people’s reach. Cos I had taken for granted that young people are naturally good with computers and such. But it’s because of early exposure. It’s a privilege. Many young teens who have not have that same privilege struggle with what we accept as ‘basic technology’, simply because of lack of exposure. Let’s not take that for granted.

And so my heart has been awakened again, to the voice of the Father who loves, and who gently calls us to love, too. Without knowing it beforehand, I find myself beginning to be sure that this is His call for me, to learn how to help those who need help, to help them grow and become strong and self-sustainable, and to know that there are those who will love them. God I pray that you will help me love them like you do.

endnote.

It’s been awhile, that’s for sure. So much has happened since I begun this blog… and abandoned it in the process. Planning a wedding was exciting in theory, but getting down to the nitty gritty turned out to be quite different from what we expected, in a good way. We learnt to prioritize the things that really mattered to us for our wedding: Our families, our core values, and our friends. And once the wedding was over and our lives together began, we realize, looking back, that honestly, all those details that we desired so much to be perfect really didn’t matter that much after all. Because our wedding was perfect because we were happy and we were in love. And most importantly God was in the midst of us.

Almost a year later, some friends are getting engaged – Congrats!!!! I’m so happy for you. And if I could give you some advice, it would be to really enjoy being engaged, and not get caught up in wedding planning. Cos when the wedding is over, all we really cared about was starting our lives together. We definitely did not go back and recount all those wedding favors we spent hours on, or the chair covers, or table linen, etc etc, even though they were LOVELY. We did, and still do, recount how we felt standing next to each other, exhilarated that we were going to be joined as one; or how grateful we were to our many friends who played such important roles in the process; or that feeling of being given away by my daddy; or my sister’s memorable speech and my brother-in-law’s hilarious one. For the relationships we built and the love that’s cultivated lasts beyond those moments which could – but shouldn’t – make us go bridezilla-ish.

p/s I have to admit my sister-in-law and I laugh about how I cried over our lack-of time to get chair covers. In the end, we did get those chair covers, but who cares?!?!?!

gift of the long(ing) wait

Babe, do you long for me?
Of course I do.
What do you long for?

I long to be able to share everything with you, without having to wait for us to be able to talk.
I long to come home to you and hear everything about your life.
I long to have you sit next to me, like in the bus or something.
I long to become a physical part of your life.
I long to just feel your presence.
I long to read books with you, watch tv with you.
I long to pray together with you, at home.

Do you long to hold hands and walk in the park together?
Yeah.
I long to hold hands and do things together.

I long to come home to you, and share my day with you, stuff that happen at work.
I long to catch you in the corridor unawares, and tackle you and kiss you all over.
I long to hold you for a long long time.
I long to bring you shopping.
I long to have you next to me in church, at worship and prayer and stuff.
I long to pray with you and have bible study with you.
I long to go out with you, bring you to eat yummy food.

I long to go to bed with you, and wake up with you.
Babe, can we go to bed at the same time everyday?
Sure, sweetie.
We can go to bed late.
Really? How late?
We can go to bed at 11. I want to go to bed with you together, it’s nice to do stuff together before we sleep.

I long for you to be the first person I see when I get up and the last person I see before I go to bed.
Me too. I long to wake up to you right next to me.

I long to one day be able to cook really good food for you, and have you tell me honestly, wow you cook so well!
Me too.
You’ll have to wait many years!
I think I’ll like it. I’m not very picky with food.
Yeah, right.

You know what?
What?
I even long to wake up at 5am in the morning just so I can go for prayer meeting with you. I don’t even like to wake up in the morning!

Lasting love… longs for the joys of being together even when separation is necessary. One way to evaluate the depth of a romantic relationship is to consider how you feel when you are apart… This longing to be together is natural for two people who love one another. ~ Robbie Castleman

awwww

lebouquetier / chyna darner / wedding

may we…

May your marriage bring you all the exquisite excitements a marriage should bring, and may life grant you also patience, tolerance, and understanding.
May you always need one another not so much to fill your emptiness as to help you to know your fullness.
A mountain needs a valley to be complete;
the valley does not make the mountain less, but more;
and the valley is more a valley because it has a mountain towering over it.
So let it be with you and you.
May you need one another, but not out of weakness.
May you want one another, but not out of lack.
May you entice one another, but not compel one another.
May you embrace one another, but not encircle one another.
May you succeed in all important ways with one another, and not fail in the little graces.
May you look for things to praise, often say, “I love you!” and take no notice of small faults.
If you have quarrels that push you apart, May both of you hope to have good sense enough to take the first step back.
May you enter into the mystery which is the awareness of one another’s presence no more physical than spiritual, warm and near when you are side by side, and warm and near when you are in separate rooms or even distant cities.
May you have happiness, and may you find it making one another happy.
May you have love, and may you find it loving one another!
Thank You, God, for Your presence here with us and Your blessing on this marriage.
Amen.

words by James Dillet Freeman
photo by michéle m. waite

blog cleanup

Re-organized and fixed the categories to only parent categories, and added the tags section, hopefully my blog will be neater and more useful! also updated the ‘About Us’ session with a really, really long story of Mr. V and me – if you were always curious, and I never told you the story, feel free to read! I took pity on all potential readers and broke my grandmama story to short version/sub-sections/links. Haha! I’m going to sleep now, I’m exhausted!

P/S: Adorable picture I love from Carden Photography via Weddingbee. I had to leave you with a picture! Too many words!

a dream becoming reality!

I AM SO EXCITED!

Well I’m excited for Mr. V because he just told me of some pretty big changes happening in his life, which involves some plans for us as well.

Mr. V is originally from the Marin area. Right before we got engaged, he told me his intentions to move over to San Jose to help a couple out with rent, but more so to help out with a bigger youth group (he is a pastor) in the SJ area. Moving was difficult, because Mr. V would be far away from his parents, whom he is very close to and fond of, and it also meant additional commitments, as Mr. V already pastors a youth group down in SF during the weekends. A week before he moved, he nearly changed his mind because he was offered a promotion at his bank (he also works in a bank) – but thankfully he decided to go ahead anyway, for the people, instead of the money. I was so proud of him then. I know God has big things for Mr. V up in SJ!

After he moved over, things didn’t start changing quickly. Mr. V did get adjusted to his job and his new home, but he wasn’t that active with the new group yet. He’d sit in and join their events, but he felt apprehensive to do more than he was invited to, and I guess he knew it would take time for them to warm up to him. Whenever we talked about where we would live in the future, Mr. V would always be a little non-committal about SJ and consider moving back to Marin, because I think he wasn’t exactly sure if this was the right place for him to be. But I always knew that this should be the place for Mr. V to reach out to young people and expand his ministry.

Well, one major change happened this few days, which led Mr. V to realize SJ really is God’s plan and purpose for him. The couple whom he is living with and who are leaders in the youth group have decided to move back to Marin. This, of course, threw the question open to Mr. V – now that I don’t have to help them with rent, then what? What will be my reason for staying? But doors had begun opening for him, and now he was becoming more active in the youth ministry. And with one leader’s move, Mr. V would be more involved in the activities and preaching. They are going to shuffle some timetables so Mr. V gets to preach on Fridays, because his weekends are reserved for the SF youth group. Isn’t that awesome? I’m so excited for Mr. V, because this is what he LOVES to do, and has been called to do, and this new opportunities will be a great experience for Mr. V’s ministry.

So when Mr. V called me excitedly tonight, he also told me this piece of exciting news: he’d probably purchase OUR HOME much earlier (originally the plan was 1-2 months before the wedding), because he’d have to move out of the place he’s staying in when the couple moves.

And, because I’m planning to visit in February (this involves some explanation: I was originally supposed to go in December, but I didn’t because it was too expensive for us, and other reasons – My future mother-in-law was a bit upset, so I thought I’d go in February during my term break to spend some time with my in-laws, as it’s just not very nice to get engaged and not visit your future-in-laws!)………………..

I GET TO HELP PICK THE HOUSE!

*happy dance*

I don’t think most people can understand this joy of mine. Originally, Mr. V was going to make all the house-related decisions by himself, with some over-the-phone/ info-dissemination-over-the-internet consultation with me. I’m not bitter over that at all, since it was the only option we had, and I love that Mr. V is willing to be so involved, plus I trust him on all accounts to pick a place we will love. It’s just that it’s ROMANTIC and FAIRYTALE-LIKE and EXCITING and FUN and GROWN-UP to be able to look at homes with your future husband, to find the ‘house of dreams’, to walk into it hand-in-hand after first sight, to fall in love with the place- the first home you will build together with your husband, and imagine how it would look as ‘OUR HOME’, as Anne and Gilbert did. Yes, I realize now that I really am the sentimental traditionalist at heart. I never, ever thought this would be possible. Really. And now that it will be, I am just so grateful and overjoyed, so thankful to God for orchestrating the timing perfectly, to give me the opportunity to build so many beautiful memories of our marriage with Mr. V even before it begins.

A long distance relationship can be so many things, but with God right in the middle of it, I think it can be mighty sweet :)

#3 RW Inspiration: a lavender dream

I love this lavender accented wedding for many reasons.  It’s romantic with a capital R *sigh* – I just love love love the petals falling! Not just that, this wedding also looked very fun, creative and personalized. I also found out that you can make your wedding cake with a Chinese baker, in San Francisco. I would not have known, but the cake is BEAUTIFUL, so we’ve gotta go check that out! I also think the BM dress colors are just perfect.

Jerry Yoon captured the beautiful pictures, and I found this wedding while checking out his blog to see his wedding portfolio. He takes a lot of beautiful Asian weddings in the Bay area, which helps me have a sense of how Asian weddings in the area are like!

There are other gorgeous photos of this wedding, but I specifically picked the lavender lathered ones, go see more beautiful photos of it!

wedding colors!

Inspired by this romantic shot {Laura Novak via classic bride}, I think I’ve decided on the wedding colors:

Yellow, Lavender, Off-white, with tinges of Silver!

Now I’m stuck between two different shades of pale yellow/lavender, one is lighter, the other is slightly brighter. Help me choose?

(A)

(B)

I used this color picker to match the yellow/lavender swatch. I think the 4 colors combined make the color palette wintry and romantic, do you? Anyways, my bridesmaids prefer to wear lavender much more than yellow, and I know lavender is MOH/sister’s favorite color, so she’ll like it too!

And because I’m too lazy to make my own inspiration board, this beautiful board by snippet&ink reflects what I want the colors to turn out like. The colors in this board are yellow, lavender, slate gray, white though, no silver:

Since we’re talking about colors, I discovered Project Wedding yesterday, and was delighted to find that my penchant for a yellow wedding is related to my personality. I’m glad I stuck to yellow even though I was tempted to switch to winter favorites! This makes me happy:

Yellow: The color of a sunny day, yellow denotes happiness and hope. Exuding warmth and vitality and usually possessing a great sense of humor, people who love yellow have cheerful spirits and optimistic values. You tend to look forward to the future and are intellectual, creative and idealistic. Yellow represents enlightenment and spirituality, lending itself as a great color on your day of matrimony.

To find your own color and personality match, go here. This article on choosing colors was also interesting :)